Being Normal & Other Myths
Last night, I attended my first support meeting. I really wasn't sure what to expect when I got there. From what I had heard, it was going to be a mixed bag of diagnoses; paranoid schizophrenics, manic depressives, bipolars and your basic home-variety clinical depressives like myself. More than anything else, though, I wanted to listen. Surely, there have to be other, non-prescription ways to control this demon.
When I arrived, I discovered that most of the people there were just average people, for the most part. Perhaps they smoked more than others, but really who could blame them? As I looked around the room, it occurred to me that some of the faces were familiar, and not from my stay at Ten Broeck. I had surely gone to church with one of the women, and I think I may have worked with someone else.
You see, conditions like these don't have any real physical manifestations on appearance, at least most of the time. The person in the cubicle next to you, that good looking woman driving the red sports car, the pharmacist who fills your prescriptions, a large number of actors, writers and artists, a few major political figures... that's right, folks, the mentally ill are all around you, and you don't even know it.
What I aspired to be when I went there last night was "normal". The new regimen they have me on has rather flattened me out; is this "normal", is that what it feels like? When the topic of being normal was brought up, pretty much everyone laughed. You see, "normal" is a myth. It is a fabrication. No one is "normal".
What we want to be is "stable".
This fact was first brought to my attention around 1976 by my best friend's mother. She was an artist, and in many ways my mentor. She certainly didn't consider herself normal; she was decidedly eccentric. And she revelled in it, and encouraged me to do the same. Perhaps you can blame her for the fact that I am an astronomer/artist/writer/musician/philosopher/computer geek. More than likely, though, I was heading in that direction anyway. She just taught me the importance of embracing my eccentricities. They are what make me.
Even my therapist brought this up to me a few weeks back, as I felt myself beginning my slide downwards. I told her that I just wanted to be like other folk. She asked me why. I told her so I wouldn't hurt all the time. At that point, she told me that other people hurt, too; they just have coping mechanisms. Her advice; embrace all of those eccentricities. Old advice. Quoth Polonius, "To thine own self be true."
While that might not have helped me the way it should have (mostly due to a major chemical imbalance), it certainly does so now. I'm not normal, and to be honest I never want to aspire to be. I'm me, and I'm pretty darned good at it. What I need to be is stable.
Stable means predictable... at least to yourself. Stable means being able to cope with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (more Shakespeare; in fact, Hamlet was probably the first, true clinical depressive in literature to be truly popular!). Stable is simply knowing that you can be yourself... and be yourself no matter what. No swings. Just somewhat steady.
You have to ask yourself. What if everyone was truly alike, what if everybody just acted the same? When we're young, we're conditioned to accept that as being "normal". Now, imagine a world where no one was interesting.
No, for me, it is stability. That's the goal. Normal is a state of mind that doesn't exist. Stable is what we all really need.
When I arrived, I discovered that most of the people there were just average people, for the most part. Perhaps they smoked more than others, but really who could blame them? As I looked around the room, it occurred to me that some of the faces were familiar, and not from my stay at Ten Broeck. I had surely gone to church with one of the women, and I think I may have worked with someone else.
You see, conditions like these don't have any real physical manifestations on appearance, at least most of the time. The person in the cubicle next to you, that good looking woman driving the red sports car, the pharmacist who fills your prescriptions, a large number of actors, writers and artists, a few major political figures... that's right, folks, the mentally ill are all around you, and you don't even know it.
What I aspired to be when I went there last night was "normal". The new regimen they have me on has rather flattened me out; is this "normal", is that what it feels like? When the topic of being normal was brought up, pretty much everyone laughed. You see, "normal" is a myth. It is a fabrication. No one is "normal".
What we want to be is "stable".
This fact was first brought to my attention around 1976 by my best friend's mother. She was an artist, and in many ways my mentor. She certainly didn't consider herself normal; she was decidedly eccentric. And she revelled in it, and encouraged me to do the same. Perhaps you can blame her for the fact that I am an astronomer/artist/writer/musician/philosopher/computer geek. More than likely, though, I was heading in that direction anyway. She just taught me the importance of embracing my eccentricities. They are what make me.
Even my therapist brought this up to me a few weeks back, as I felt myself beginning my slide downwards. I told her that I just wanted to be like other folk. She asked me why. I told her so I wouldn't hurt all the time. At that point, she told me that other people hurt, too; they just have coping mechanisms. Her advice; embrace all of those eccentricities. Old advice. Quoth Polonius, "To thine own self be true."
While that might not have helped me the way it should have (mostly due to a major chemical imbalance), it certainly does so now. I'm not normal, and to be honest I never want to aspire to be. I'm me, and I'm pretty darned good at it. What I need to be is stable.
Stable means predictable... at least to yourself. Stable means being able to cope with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (more Shakespeare; in fact, Hamlet was probably the first, true clinical depressive in literature to be truly popular!). Stable is simply knowing that you can be yourself... and be yourself no matter what. No swings. Just somewhat steady.
You have to ask yourself. What if everyone was truly alike, what if everybody just acted the same? When we're young, we're conditioned to accept that as being "normal". Now, imagine a world where no one was interesting.
No, for me, it is stability. That's the goal. Normal is a state of mind that doesn't exist. Stable is what we all really need.
posted by Robert at 7:39 AM
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