Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Loneliest Creatures

There seems to be one flaw in life that is extremely hard to overcome. Humans are intrinsically alone. You can be lying next to someone, but still, you are trapped in your own skin. You can never really understand what the other person is thinking, what they are feeling. We can only imagine, and maybe those of us who are more empathetic can get a better understanding. Still, we have no idea.
Instead, we have to rely on the actions and the words of others to indicate what they may (or may not) be feeling or thinking. Are these the best indicators? Of course not; true human intention can always be shrouded. Instead, we have to rely on trust and faith, the latter being more of a spiritual nature than the former; trust is usually earned, while faith is always deeper and more intuitive.
We go about our lives hoping that those we interact with feel the same, feel for us, are capable of feeling altogether. You can usually tell much about someone by the people they associate with they say, and I guess to an extent that's true. Still, truer intentions can be hidden, and no one would be the wiser. Lacking telepathy, humans have to hope. It's all we have in a very real sense.
I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. For some reason, I feel it is important for those around me to know what I'm thinking, for better or for worse. I tend to be passionate about everything, everyone, in my life; that is fraught with problems, because passion is a flame that can burn many ways, good and bad. It is who I am, however. I don't hide behind facades. On the Internet, I am always known by my real name, and even the Vagabond Astronomer is Robert Little. I alter who I am for different people, but those alterations are still me. It is my attempt to be true, honest, to others. Yet I'm not perfect. Who am I kidding, no one is perfect, and I am certainly as far from it as anyone else. In attempts to not hurt others, many times I hide what is really on my mind at times (and sometimes those periods can stretch on for years). I try to be as true as I can, and hope sincerely for the same from others. I fail. We fail.
I think that's why humans want that connection with others, even when we say that we want to be alone. We're always alone, really. Many times, the only way we feel human is by connection, whether romantic or casual or professional, we seek connection. When those connections are lost, no matter how tenuous, we ourselves feel lost. We find ourselves wandering, wondering, trying to find that connection or trying to build others, seeking like the blind and not really sure how to. We want to trust, have faith and hope. It's all we can do, though, because in the end, humans are the loneliest creatures. The best we can do in this life is comfort each other as best we can and simply be there. The rest... we have to wait and see.

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