Personal Significance & Family
This idea started off when I found myself thinking about a lack of offspring. I don't have children, and the fact is I'm probably not capable of producing any heirs at the moment. Kind of sad, but really kind of interesting. Let me explain.
I had the lack of foresight to marry when I was 20. One of the first things my ex-wife started talking about was having children, something she herself should have been avoiding. It started off simply, and then it became an obsession to her. She had to have children. The problem was, she had a tubal ligation before we married; a pregnancy could have been fatal to her. Didn't stop her from wanting children. Eventually, it became one of the many straws that broke the camel's back of our marriage.
My new wife isn't in such a rush. Thankfully.
Why is that a good thing?
Well, based on what I've seen and have experienced, the act of producing heirs and raising them has a detrimental effect on the parents. Right now, every pro-life and Christian group out there is preparing to pounce upon these words, but hear me out; If you want to make something of yourself, do it before the kiddies come around. Trying to be successful and raise a family at the same time can have disastrous results. The amount of time you need to spend to develop yourself will take that same amount of time from your family, and that has a reciprocating, negative effect. That's not to say it can't be done, but the risks are too high. Now, if you're already in a good financial position, you could take an approach that many wealthy families have taken; let someone else do it. Want to see what kind of fruit that bears? Look at some of today's no talent uberkind. Products of good breeding, yes. But not a sensible bone in their bodies.
As I said before, I’m not saying that this can’t be done when you have kids, of course. Just be prepared for what that entails. The average lower to middle class family has a hard time making ends meet these days; this normally means that both parents work. The added strain of trying “to get ahead” (or doing something significant) is hard enough on people who don’t have children. The stress of making it work without setting ambitious goals is hard on even the strongest people, and marriages. Unless you have the money of, say, the Hilton family and can hire good childcare, your chances are slim. Then, of course, there is that whole argument stated earlier (think; Hilton).
The only other option is to wait. Either have kids at an early enough age that you are still young enough to make an attempt at your ambitions when they’ve grown, or just be brave and try when you are older. Don’t think that for one moment I’m against the idea of personal advancement; on the contrary, I believe that everyone should strive to do something important in this world. But in our search for significance, we need to set our priorities well in advance. In our search for meaning, don't let your family be a casualty.
I had the lack of foresight to marry when I was 20. One of the first things my ex-wife started talking about was having children, something she herself should have been avoiding. It started off simply, and then it became an obsession to her. She had to have children. The problem was, she had a tubal ligation before we married; a pregnancy could have been fatal to her. Didn't stop her from wanting children. Eventually, it became one of the many straws that broke the camel's back of our marriage.
My new wife isn't in such a rush. Thankfully.
Why is that a good thing?
Well, based on what I've seen and have experienced, the act of producing heirs and raising them has a detrimental effect on the parents. Right now, every pro-life and Christian group out there is preparing to pounce upon these words, but hear me out; If you want to make something of yourself, do it before the kiddies come around. Trying to be successful and raise a family at the same time can have disastrous results. The amount of time you need to spend to develop yourself will take that same amount of time from your family, and that has a reciprocating, negative effect. That's not to say it can't be done, but the risks are too high. Now, if you're already in a good financial position, you could take an approach that many wealthy families have taken; let someone else do it. Want to see what kind of fruit that bears? Look at some of today's no talent uberkind. Products of good breeding, yes. But not a sensible bone in their bodies.
As I said before, I’m not saying that this can’t be done when you have kids, of course. Just be prepared for what that entails. The average lower to middle class family has a hard time making ends meet these days; this normally means that both parents work. The added strain of trying “to get ahead” (or doing something significant) is hard enough on people who don’t have children. The stress of making it work without setting ambitious goals is hard on even the strongest people, and marriages. Unless you have the money of, say, the Hilton family and can hire good childcare, your chances are slim. Then, of course, there is that whole argument stated earlier (think; Hilton).
The only other option is to wait. Either have kids at an early enough age that you are still young enough to make an attempt at your ambitions when they’ve grown, or just be brave and try when you are older. Don’t think that for one moment I’m against the idea of personal advancement; on the contrary, I believe that everyone should strive to do something important in this world. But in our search for significance, we need to set our priorities well in advance. In our search for meaning, don't let your family be a casualty.
posted by Robert at 8:44 PM
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